percolate, goddamn you!

i have a medical condition. a serious one, really. in that i get earth-stopping, mind-splitting migraine headaches. at the ripe old age of 22 i was actually hospitalized for a short period of time because it was believed that i was actually having a series of small strokes.

i wasn’t.

i went through a whole battery of hospital tests and conversations with doctors who wanted to prescribe me medications for symptoms i didn’t have. hospitals are the worst. especially if you know even the slightest amount about your own body.

my follow-up appointment with my dr? fantastic. she got migraines, too. and her treatment plan?

drink a cup of coffee every morning. and if i still felt a headache coming on later in the day, to take 4 ibuprofen and have another cup of coffee (or soda, even!). and if for some reason the headaches persisted, we would explore actual pharmaceutical options.

in the last six years, i can count on one hand the number of times i’ve had a migraine – or that start of one that was quickly remedied with ibuprofen. mostly it’s when the weather changes – a major storm front moving in.

and so imagine the distress when, for the past few weeks, the coffeemaker in my apartment has been on the fritz. sometimes not brewing a whole pot, sometimes making a bitter sludge out of some very delicious coffee, sometimes just refusing to work. i have pulled it apart, polished all of it’s plastic, and reassembled the little bastard – all to no avail. it’s not like the bugger is all that old – three years isn’t old for a coffeemaker, is it? what irks me is that i shelled out the money for a $70 coffeemaker. clearly, i could have survived with the $15 version – you see them all the time, covered in coffee spots and hard water stains from decades of use… and so while i slurp down this most awful cup of coffee, laced with hot cocoa in an attempt to hide the sheer disgustingness of it, i’ve resolved myself to head out to the shop and buy another coffeemaker.

le sigh.

and seriously, the person brought here by the search term “death by paperwork”, i hope it turns out ok for you.



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4 responses to “percolate, goddamn you!

  1. i buy cheap coffee pots for that reason. the ONE time i hoarked up cash for a nice one, it gave me nothing but trouble…

    • i went in resolved to spend less than $20.

      and walked out with another $70 coffee maker. but this one doesn’t even in brew in a pot – just a big “holding tank”, and you self-serve one cup at a time, just like at the store, but without all the people!

      it’s only a matter of time before i’m devastated again. i just know it.

  2. Last time I went anywhere near civilisation I forked out for a cheap espresso machine. For under $200 I can now have frothy coffee in the desert. For some strange reason, we are suddenly getting a lot more visitors.

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